启明星人｜北皋校区小学副校长何立杏：20年都在用心“读懂”孩子的教育者

　　

　　启明星人 11/20

　　加入一个社区的理由可以有很多，但最能让我们对它产生归属感和认同感的，往往是它包容、暖心的小环境。

　　启明星就是这样的社区，20年来，大家受到启明星的感召加入它，又共同塑造它。

　　正值启明星创校20周年之际，我们决定走近20个“启明星人”，展示他们的故事，进而呈现20年的启明星社区丰富且真实的一个个侧面：

　　本期《启明星人》，让我们走近北皋校区小学副校长何立杏：

　　

　　何立杏和学生在一起

　　时间拉回到18年前——

　　教室里，正在给孩子们上课的何立杏僵在那里。她面前是一个浑身上下写满“叛逆”的女孩Racheal（化名）。Racheal小脸红红的，好像随时都要冲出教室。她仿佛一只小刺猬，何立杏知道，这个时候直接接近她，一定会被“刺”到。

　　

　　

　　何立杏和启明星早期的学生

　　何老师沉默了一会，强压住情绪，问道：“你是需要帮助吗？”就是这样一句话直接穿透了那层硬壳，让准备好对抗一切的Racheal一愣，整个人眼见着“柔软”下来…….

　　时间回到18年后的今天——

　　何老师回想起当时的情景，所有细节历历在目。“Racheal当时处在一个反叛时期，让她做什么偏就不做，什么都不做，怎么都不行……有时候我真的被她气到手直发抖。”

　　“其实，孩子强大的样子有些是装出来的，是他们掩饰内心脆弱的虚张声势。老师要做的就是帮助孩子卸下防御的铠甲，触动他们的内心，让孩子对老师建立信任，否则不能和他们做灵魂的交谈，教育就很难发生。”

　　有时候孩子强大的样子是装出来的，是他们掩饰内心脆弱的虚张声势。老师要做的就是帮助孩子卸下防御的铠甲。

　　捕捉沟通时机，辅以恰当的引导和教育，是何立杏放下中文教师职责、担任管理者直至北皋校区小学副校长的主要工作内容。而从此间获得的满足感，让她在启明星一呆就是18年。

　　“生命是认识真我、联结世界的过程。”总结近20年教育工作的座右铭，何立杏这样说。

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　　“教育是‘看见和被看见’的过程。帮助孩子认识自我，和世界建立联结，首先要‘看见’孩子，孩子都是渴望被看见的。当他们在学术、行为上有了进步，给予他们及时的肯定对于引导他们建立自信是很重要的。”何老师说，“‘看见’也需要老师静下心来，智慧地观察，心底充满对孩子的爱，甚至营造孩子被看见的氛围。”

　　花瓣卡是早期何老师刚加入启明星时的发明。有哪个孩子做了积极的行为，就会得到一片花瓣作为奖励。用花瓣奖励孩子是营建“看见孩子”的氛围，花瓣是孩子“被看见”的证明。后来，花瓣卡演变成为我们的核心价值观卡，以及今年我们使用的核心价值观徽章。形式变了，不变的依然是“看见”以及肯定孩子们做出的正确选择。

　　

　　何老师把花瓣卡贴在白板上

　　

　　同学们得到了由花瓣卡演变成的核心价值观徽章

　　帮助孩子认识自我，和世界建立联结，更需要抓住恰当的一刻。

　　曾经，有个4年级的学生在学校的中文汉字听写大赛中被淘汰下场。他认为裁判老师不公平，因为答案是写在卡片上的，当写得不清楚的时候，裁判老师会让学生重新写一次，但老师没让他重写。他觉得委屈， 把事情告诉了妈妈。妈妈发邮件给老师反映了情况，老师把邮件转给了主管校长何老师。

　　何老师看到邮件后，觉得这件事情对这个孩子很重要，不能耽搁。尽管当时是假期，她还是立即给孩子的家长打了电话，在电话里倾听孩子对事情经过的讲述和判断。

　　为什么没有给他重写的机会，何老师解释说，那是因为他写答案时笔顺不对，所以问题已经不是清楚不清楚的问题了。

　　孩子明白后，何老师继续引导他思考：你怎么看待输赢？看了比赛的过程和结果，你有什么建议？你下一次可以怎么做？后面还有英文拼写大赛，你还可以做什么准备？ 整个电话打了大概40分钟。

　　何老师谈到这个案例说：“这是一个难得的可教时机。你不可能通过教学活动把这个对话设计出来，看见这样的时机要马上抓住。”

　　这是一个难得的可教时机。你不可能通过教学活动把这个对话设计出来，看见这样的时机要马上抓住。

　　孩子的心结打开了，之后每天6点起床用心准备英文拼写大赛。一个月后，全年级9个孩子并列第一，其中有一个就是他！

　　看到孩子的进步，何老师也给家长发去信息：“在一些特定时刻一定要抓住，对孩子来说是重要的可教育时机，这样的时机转瞬即逝，但意义和影响重大……在之后的英文拼写大赛时看到他不慌不忙拼写出那么难的单词，最后获得冠军，我真为他骄傲。我想正是因为这样的讨论和引导，让他愿意付出努力，识别出自己行为的意义和价值，从而有内在的驱动力来发掘自己的潜能。这样长期会逐步稳定地培养出孩子们对自我的认知和强烈的自尊。这是教育的魅力，因为真的是“灵魂”间的触碰，对话和启发……”

　　何老师的用心沟通和疏导让家长很感动。孩子妈妈在回复何老师的信息中这样写道：感恩您对Jack（化名）以及每个孩子所做的事情，敏感地捕捉到这个契机，并且愿意花时间去和孩子细致沟通。这个校长，当的是每个孩子的校长，而不只是个title或者权力的象征。真心感恩！”

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　　“看见”和引导固然不易，考验老师的经验和对孩子的关爱之心——之于教育者，在孩子的问题和表现出现反复时，努力调整自己、坚持不懈地去支持学生却是更大的挑战。

　　美国名医特鲁多曾有名言——偶尔治愈，常常帮助，总是安慰。放在教育的情景中也多是如此，何立杏对此深为赞同。

　　“通过一次触动就扭转乾坤的想法是奢侈的，成功的几率恐怕不到万分之一。”何老师说，“作为教育者，更多的时候面对的是日常的平凡、普通、重复，体验到的是苦恼、迷茫，甚至是无力感。这时候你要想办法让自己不要深陷其中，并且不断摸索和变换教育方法。”

　　就是对前文提到的、被突破了硬壳的Racheal，何老师的工作也不是一帆风顺的。在她的记忆里，除了面对小刺猬的无数“见招拆招”，还有和Racheal妈妈数不清次数的沟通和探讨。

　　说到为什么总能对孩子们耐下心来，何老师笑了：“你对学生说的一句话可能只是你所有话语的1/100，但对那个学生来说——却是百分之一百。”

　　你对学生说的一句话可能只是你所有话语的1/100，但对那个学生来说——却是百分之一百。

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　　为了及时“看见”学生，给予他们有力的支持，何立杏努力用不同的方式和孩子们建立联结。

　　尽管不再直接承担教学工作，她还是会在绘本活动中为孩子们读书；2年级学生学习探究单元“法律和规则”时，她去课堂与学生讨论和平解决冲突；课间活动值日时，她会随机和一些孩子聊天……

　　

　　

　　“我们每天在校门口迎接孩子；在上课和课间巡视；需要时，我们在额外的时间约谈孩子和家长。我还在楼道里摆了一张小白桌，有时候在那里办公，更方便我时刻看到孩子们的状态。”何立杏说。

　　这个学年，为了更方便、更及时地帮助到学生，何立杏和Yvonne Featherer副校长还特意把办公室搬到和孩子们教室相同的楼层。

　　“那天有个学生说，何校长，我怎么在哪里都看得到你呀！还有一天，我在我的小桌子上看到一个桔子，不知道是哪个孩子悄悄留给我的！”说到这里，何老师笑了，脸上分明有一丝幸福。

　　“看见”孩子们，也被孩子们“看见”，大约这就是何立杏愿意为启明星投入近20年的主要缘由。

　　

　　“今年我40多岁了，有近1/2的光阴都是启明星度过的，对我来说这已经不只是工作，而是一种强烈的归属感和使命感......”说到这里，何老师满脸欣慰。

　　DAYSTARer 11/20

　　There are many reasons to join a community, but we experience the greatest sense of belonging from those with a warm, inclusive atmosphere.

　　Daystar is such a community. For over two decades, people have been inspired to join Daystar, and together we have shaped it. This year marks the 20th anniversary of the founding of Daystar. In recognition of this moment, we decided to interview 20 Daystar community members so that they could tell their stories and present a detailed image of the Daystar community:

　　Today’s post is about He Lixing, Assistant Principal of Beigao Elementary School.

　　

　　Ms. He Lixing reads books with students.

　　Let’s go back 18 years –

　　Ms. He Lixing was teaching students in the classroom when she suddenly froze. In front of her was Racheal (pseudonym), who had “rebellious” written all over her. Racheal’s face was red, and it seemed like she would rush out of the classroom at any moment. She was like a small, prickly hedgehog. Ms. He knew that if anyone tried to approach her right now, they would be “pricked.”

　　

　　

　　He Lixing and Daystar's early years of students

　　So, Ms. He was silent for a while, kept her emotions in check, and asked, “Do you need help?” That sentence penetrated the stiff spines and stunned Racheal, who had been ready to fight.

　　Now, 18 years later –

　　When Ms. He recalls what happened, she remembers every detail. “Racheal was at a rebellious stage. No matter what you told her to do, she wouldn’t do it and wouldn’t listen to you at all… Sometimes, my anger made my hands shake.”

　　“In fact, when students act tough, it is sometimes a disguise for their inner weakness. What teachers need to do is to let their guard down, reach out to the students, and build up trust. Otherwise, we can’t have heart-to-heart conversations with them, let alone educate them.”

　　When students act tough, it is sometimes a disguise for their inner weakness. What teachers need to do is to let their guard down.

　　Ms. He left her position as a Chinese teacher, became a manager, and then became the Assistant Principal of the Daystar Beigao Elementary School. Since leaving her teaching position, her work has focused on taking opportunities to start conversations and share guidance and instruction. The sense of satisfaction she has received from this career path has led her to remain at Daystar for 18 years.

　　Ms. He summarizes her two decades of educational work with her motto: “Life is a process of recognizing the true self and connecting with the world.”

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　　“Education is a process of ‘seeing and being seen.’ To help students understand themselves and connect with the world, we need to see them first, as they are all desperate to be seen. When they make progress in academic performance or behavior, we need to recognize it immediately. This is vital to helping them build up confidence,” said Ms. He. “Seeing means teachers need to be calm, observe students in a thoughtful and caring way, and create an atmosphere in which students are seen.”

　　Ms. He created the petal card many years ago when she first joined Daystar. Any time a student did something positive, she would give them a petal as a reward. She used this method to create an atmosphere in which students were seen. Later, the petal card became the Daystar core value card. This year it has been changed to a badge. While the format may have changed, the importance of seeing and recognizing students when they make good choices remains.

　　

　　He Lixing sticked the petal cards on the white board.

　　

　　Petal cards evolved into Core Value badges.

　　Seizing the moment is vital to helping students understand themselves and connect with the world.

　　Once, a Grade 4 student was eliminated in a Chinese word dictation contest. He thought the judge was unfair. For the contest, students needed to write their answers on a card. If the answer wasn’t clear enough, the judge would have them write it again. But this student wasn’t allowed to do so. He felt wronged and told his mom about it. His mom then emailed a teacher who forwarded the email to Ms. He, the directing principal at the time.

　　When Ms. He saw the email, she thought it was quite urgent. Even though it was a holiday, she immediately called the student’s parents and listened to the student’s side of the story over the phone.

　　Why wasn’t he given a chance to write the answer? Ms. He explained that the student had made a mistake with the stroke order. So, it wasn’t an issue of the answer being clear or not.

　　After clarifying the situation for the student, Ms. He encouraged him to think about the following questions: How do you feel about winning and losing? Do you have any suggestions regarding the process and result of the contest? What would you do differently next time? How will you prepare for the upcoming English spelling contest? The whole telephone conversation lasted about 40 minutes.

　　When speaking about this case, Ms. He said, “It’s a great education opportunity. You can’t even design an educational activity like that. So, you have to seize the opportunity the moment it emerges.”

　　It’s a great education opportunity. You can’t even design an educational activity like that. So, you have to seize the opportunity the moment it emerges.

　　The student came to a realization from this experience. Afterwards, he woke up at 6 a.m. every day to prepare for the English spelling contest. A month later, nine students in the same grade tied for first place, and he was one of them.

　　Seeing how much progress he had made, Ms. He sent a message to the parents saying, “Certain moments are precious education opportunities for students. However, these opportunities come and go in an instant, so we must seize them before the moment passes… I was so proud of him when I saw him calmly spelling difficult words as he progressed to the top. I think our previous conversation and guidance helped him understand the meaning and value of his actions and triggered his internal drive to improve and reach toward his potential. In the long run, this will help students develop strong intrapersonal intelligence and self-esteem. This heart-to-heart interaction is the amazing power of education and can lead to good conversations and inspire students.”

　　The parents were deeply moved by Ms. He’s considerate words and guidance. The mother sent a message back saying, “We are so grateful for everything you’ve done for Jack (pseudonym) – you were able to perceive the opportunity and spend time talking with him. You’ve shown us that being a principal is more than a having title or a symbol of power; being a principal means caring about every student. We are truly grateful.”

　　2

　　

　　Seeing and offering guidance are difficult. They are a test of teachers’ experience and level of care for each student. It is even more important for teachers to adjust and persist in supporting students when students have recurring problems.

　　“To cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always.” These are the words of E. L. Trudeau, a famous American physician. Ms. He deeply agrees with him and believes this idea applies to most educational scenarios.

　　“Changing a person’s thinking all at once is too idealistic and would probably fail,” said Ms. He. “As educators, we can feel worried, confused, or even frustrated in the face of an ordinary, tedious, and repetitive daily life. We need to avoid getting stuck. Instead, we need to keep exploring and changing education methods.”

　　Even though she was able to break through Racheal’s hard shell as mentioned above, that case wasn’t easy. Ms. He recalls countless times dealing with the little hedgehog and having conversations and discussions with Racheal’s mother.

　　Speaking on why she is so patient with students, Ms. He smiles and says, “What you say may be nothing to you, but it may be everything to the student.”

　　What you say may be nothing to you, but it may be everything to the student.

　　3

　　To see students and provide the firm support they need when they need it, Ms. He tries to connect with them in various ways.

　　Though she doesn’t personally teach students in the classroom now, she still reads books to them during special activities, discusses peaceful conflict resolution with them when they study the UOI on “laws and regulations,” and chats with them during recess.

　　“We greet students at the school gate every day. We patrol during class and recess. We make time to have conversations with students and parents if needed. I also put a small white desk in the hallway so that I can work and check on students at any time.”

　　

　　

　　This academic year, Ms. He and Assistant Principal Yvonne Featherer moved the office to the floor where students have lessons to offer support in a more convenient and timely manner.

　　“One day, a student asked me, ‘Ms. He, why do I see you everywhere?’ Another day, I saw that a tangerine had been placed on my desk by an anonymous student.” Ms. He smiles as she says this, a hint of happiness on her face.

　　“Seeing students” and “being seen” are the main reasons Ms. He has devoted herself to Daystar for nearly two decades.

　　

　　“I’m over 40 years old now. I’ve spent half of my life at Daystar. For me, it’s not just a job, but a strong sense of belonging and mission,” she said when talking about her attachment to Daystar.

　　启明星人| 北皋校区前运营经理Jennifer：“一朝是启明星人，永远是启明星人” Daystarer| Jennifer: Former Operations Manager of Beigao Campus

　　启明星人| 柳慧：带着个“宝贝口袋”的“百变”中文老师 Daystar Community Member | Liu Hui: A Chinese Teacher with a “Treasure Pocket”