“成年”的真正含义是什么？一个人心智成熟时的20种表现

　　How can one classify a true adult? Many people directly attribute age to adulthood. The problem with this methodology becomes evident when you discuss the topic with various people of different cultural backgrounds. If you ask each of them what age they believe constitutes the point at which a person progresses from childhood into adulthood, their answers will always be different. Why? Because every one of the answers are based on subjective opinion. Adulthood is not based age; it’s based strictly on emotional maturity. “成年人”的真正含义是什么呢？许多人纯粹是以年龄来作一区分的。不过，当你和来自于不同文化背景的人聊天时，你就会觉察出这一分类方法是有明显错误的。当你问他们从童年步入成年的年龄分界点是几岁时，你往往会给出各不相同的回答。这又是为什么呢？那是因为他们的答案都是根据自己的主观判断得来的。判断一个人是否成年的标准不是年龄，而是心智的成熟与否。 So what constitutes emotional maturity, and thus adulthood? Here are 20 defining characteristics of a true adult: 那么一个真正的成年人，或者说一个人心智成熟的表现又是什么呢？下文就此给出了20种定义： 1. Realizing that maturity is an ongoing process, not a state, and continuously striving for self improvement. 意识到成熟是一个过程而非一种状态，并热衷于提升自己。 2. Able to manage personal jealousy and feelings of envy. 有能力控制好自己的猜忌与嫉妒。 3. Has the ability to listen to and evaluate the viewpoints of others. 能做到倾听和反思别人的观点。 4. Maintains patience and flexibility on a daily basis. 在日常生活中既能表现出耐心，也能体现出灵活性。 5. Accepts the fact that you can’t always win, and learns from mistakes instead of whining about the outcome. 能够接受无法改变的事实，能从错误中吸取教训而不是发牢骚。 6. Does not overanalyze negative points, but instead looks for the positive points in the subject being analyzed. 不被恐惧所吓倒，能看到事物的积极面。 7. Is able to differentiate between rational decision making and emotional impulse. 有能力区分头脑冷静时的决策与情感冲动时的决定之间的不同。 8. Understands that no skill or talent can overshadow the act of preparation. 懂得“机会只偏爱有准备的人”这一道理。 9. Capable of managing temper and anger. 有能力控制好自己的脾气与愤怒。 10. Keeps other people’s feeling in mind and limits selfishness. 不自私，能考虑到他人的感受。 11. Being able to distinguish between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’. 能区分出“需要”与“想要”之间的不同。 12. Shows confidence without being overly arrogant. 自信但不傲慢。 13. Handles pressure with self composure. 能镇定自若地应对压力。 14. Takes ownership and responsibility of personal actions. 独立自主又能对自己的行为负责。 15. Manages personal fears. 有能力克服恐惧感。 16. Able to see the various shades of grey between the extremes of black and white in every situation. 能在“非此即彼”的极端思维中看到事物的其它方面。 17. Accepts negative feedback as a tool for self improvement. 接受负面反馈，并视其为提升自我的工具。 18. Aware of personal insecurities and self-esteem. 自重而又有危机意识。 19. Able to separate true love from transitory infatuation. 能够区分真爱与暂时的迷恋之间的区别。 20. Understanding that open communication is the key to progression. 懂得“开诚布公地交流是取得进展的关键”这一道理。 Above all, true adults do what they have to do when it is required of them, and they do what they want when they can. They are able to distinguish between the two and manage their time and efforts accordingly. 真正的成年人会在责任落到他头上时挺身而出，而且他也知道何时才能去做自己想做的事。他们能够区分出“自己必须去做的事”和“自己想要去做的事”之间的差别，同时还能合理地分配好自己的时间与精力。